And I Let Myself Cry…

They say ‘ignorance is bliss’. I had always adopted this policy – particularly in the past several years. When social media began flooding with pictures of injured Syrians and mothers weeping, I chose to look away. When people around me talked about the war and the bombarding, I chose to not listen.

The pain was unbearable so I tried to numb myself. And by practicing it over and over again in these several years, I had finally become quite good at it.

The Holy Prophet SAW said “The parable of the believers in their affection, mercy, and compassion for each other is that of a body. When any limb aches, the whole body reacts with sleeplessness and fever.

So if we are part of an Ummah and we are like that of a body,  how do we really numb ourselves?

The doctors use anesthesia because there is no other way to stop the patient feel the pain. The human body is made that way. You cannot have a pain in some part of the body and not feel its effect overall. If you are getting a tooth job, the whole body would be uncomfortable.

So how do you do it? You become inhumane, that’s how.

By not listening, not looking and not talking, I pretended everything was fine. I pretended nothing was happening in Syria. Things in Afghanistan were fine. Children in Iraq do not suffer. The people of Palestine are enjoying their life.

I pretended all this because I thought I could do nothing to change it, except donating of course. So, when things became too overwhelming, I gave donation and became numb again. By giving away a small amount in donation, I could then start pretending again. I could enjoy my life. I could go out to social gatherings and talk about normal stuff – clothes, make up, latest brands, vacations.

However, after the recent bombarding in Afghanistan where more than 100 Huffaz were martyred, Hazrat Shaykh Humayun Hanif Naqshbandi DB asked a question in his bayan: Did anyone of you wake up in Tahajjud and pray for them?

That’s when it hit me. All these years I was trying to make myself numb because I thought I couldn’t change anything when actually I could – with my prayers.

Since then, I have let the tears fall. I have stopped pretending. I have started praying for them. I have started feeling pain. I pray for them and I let myself weep. With every tear, I break the shell of numbness around me. I feel much more human and much better. Yes, I feel pain but that’s what I am supposed to feel, isn’t it?

What if all of us start praying for our Muslim brothers and sisters everywhere in the whole world?

No, we don’t need to post a Facebook status or run prayer chains on social media.

All we need to do is sit alone for a while and pray sincerely for all Muslims that are suffering everywhere in the world.

Listen to these heart wrenching bayans. Let’s all pray sincerely and make a difference.

Huffaz ki Shahadat – Ummat ki Bay Fikri

Burma kay Halaat ki Wajah aur Uska Hal